


The Darkness Within...

by bavedecrapaud



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Magic, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Time, NSFW, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Reader-Insert, Sex, Sex with Sirius Black, Sirius Black Lives, Slow Burn, older sirius
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2020-12-01 23:04:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20928272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavedecrapaud/pseuds/bavedecrapaud
Summary: She can't control her magic, she's sure it's an evil within...Slow burn with Sirius. Hate to lovers. Porn with Feelings. Porn with plot.





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+, Eventual smut, a little dark at parts.  
Warnings: dark little things and scary crows.
> 
> ...oh and also swearing

It was late. The only light was a near full moon in the sky highlighting your silhouette against a gravestone. Regardless of the darkness you could see clearly in front of you, which was, at least, odd. The mist on your breath indicated that the temperature was low, however you didn’t feel the cold. Another unexplained nod to your true nature perhaps?

Ye gods he was taking ages with this. It is like he is deliberately trying to inconvenience you.

_I hate this_. You thought for the 100th time.

_Yeah well, it’s all you’re good for so suck it up_. Another voice played in your head.

The problem with you was that you tried very hard to distance yourself from your past. Very hard. How much distance would it take? Especially as you really didn’t know that much of your past to begin with.

As you waited in the deserted graveyard a prickling sensation you did not like swept up your neck. It wasn’t the crows - you didn’t mind them per-say you even admired their bold plumage and haunting eyes. It wasn’t their fault they embodied dark feathered nightmares in every children’s tale ever read, but their constant scuttling through leaves, foraging for worms and mice was distracting and masking other more sinister movements. You felt like you were being watched.

“For fucks sake! Hurry up Macnair!” You growled loudly to yourself. “I haven’t got all day.”

A wheezy chuckle sounded behind a large mausoleum where Macnair revealed himself in the moonlight.

“You’ve been watching me Walden!” You heavily emphasised his first name, knowing he disliked being addressed as such. “What, didn’t believe I would be alone?”  
He scowled at you and merely shrugged. “Can’t be too careful Y/L/N, you might have turned.”

A tight menacing laugh spilled out of your mouth. “The Dark Lord holds me in high regard, Macnair. I would have thought that’d be good enough for you.”

Macnair scowled at the reminder that you outranked him at more than half his age. He was not used to being usurped and the fact Voldemort asked of you more important, more dangerous tasks while he was left squabbling over the scraps did not sit well with him at all. He used every chance to get ahead and finally had been thrown a bone. Tonight you were summoned to meet Macnair and collect a package. He was reviling in his 15 minutes of favouritism and he seemed determined to undermine you at every step of the way.

“The Dark Lord hasn’t heard everything about your school days Y/L/N. He would have found your alternative ‘influence’ a lot less palatable than I have.”

You grimaced knowing what he was referring to. It’s true you had been different in school. Not the cold, calculating witch he saw never faltering under Voldemort’s rule. You were small, skinny and weak looking, a little strange, and prone to outbursts. He particularly disapproved of your tendency to talk about the delusion of purist mania, and how wizard kind would benefit from muggles instead of incessantly inbreeding until magic dies out. No one told you this would earn you one of the foulest punishments you had ever endured by your own house mates. You clutched at your throat momentarily.

You learnt the right way to live in this world soon after.

Macnair continued on, getting more and more passionate as well as louder about how he was a better Death Eater than you. You ignored him, caught deep in your memories. He had touched a nerve. _Was I really that transparent? There is no way this moron could know?_ The Dark Lord didn’t know. Heck, you didn’t even really know.

You started to mentally take stock of your life as Macnair prattled on.

You were a young woman. You looked normal, pretty even. You tried to behave normally however:  
-Things burn when you get angry  
-You can see in the dark and never feel the cold.  
-You can manipulate peoples emotions by making them feel horrible, terrified, and hopeless however you cannot make people feel happiness  
-Strange symbols, and pictures appear on your skin whenever you are scared  
-You were twelve years old when you first conjured all the animals in proximity and set them on a boy in your year for pulling your hair and that scared everyone around you to start throwing out words such as ‘dark magic,’ and ‘locked up.’ You had never done that since.  
-You had no idea how you had these ‘gifts’ as Voldemort called them  
-You didn’t know who you were except that…

You were an orphan. You were a Slytherin. You were a Death Eater.

Plagues of memories, shattered glimpses of your past flashed through your mind. How were you supposed to know who you were if you didn’t know where you came from?

No photos, no lasting family heirlooms, just jolted memories here and there of orphanages and foster homes to piece together your origins.

In a happier time, you used to believe that you would find yourself happy and content, filled with warmth from a loving family. However, as soon as you turned eleven, something dark began to grow. It was though these gifts were not yours but belonged to a living creature buried deep inside, a sleeping dragon lying dormant - perhaps forever - but the first day you held your first wand she awoke, sparked a fire in your stomach and slowly filling your heart with lead.

**Meanwhile…**

Sirius kicked a stray pebble with his boot, it bounced along the footpath until it hit a loose cobblestone and ricocheted into a high stone fence. He was bored, Remus could tell. They had been on duty for the Order ten nights in a row, scouring the streets of London for suspicious activity, yet found nothing. Remus surmised that this was a good thing. Sirius, on the other hand, thought they weren’t looking hard enough.

“Alright Pads, let’s move…” Remus stopped mid sentence noticing Sirius had suddenly gone stock still, ear cocked to his left.

“Shhh Moony, I hear something!” Remus listened carefully. For a while he only heard and saw his and Sirius’ breaths in the crisp night air until an unmistakeable chatter was rising higher and higher as if two people were arguing.

Sirius looked at Remus, eyes gleaming with excitement. “You know the drill? Got to check it out!”

Remus nodded slowly and followed Sirius along the stone fence line, coming to an entrance bordered by two large and rather rusty wrought iron gates, grotesque gargoyles standing sentinel either-side.

As they crossed the gates they looked around at what was a very old cemetery. Sirius looked at Remus and jabbed his head to the right before scrambling between two gravestones and further into the dark. After five minutes of tip-toeing behind tombs, trees, and statues, Remus and Sirius located the sound of their quarry. They could clearly hear a conversation between two people standing on the other side of the large mausoleum blocking both parties from seeing each other.

Remus crouched low, pressing his back against the door of the mausoleum listening carefully. Did he recognise one of the voices? Sirius, not content with just listening was twisting his body around the tomb to get a better look. In his attempt he had not noticed that he had snagged a low hanging tree branch on his leather jacket, and continued moving forward. A sharp pop rang through the air as the branch broke startling the two arguing who had so far not noticed anyone approach. Sirius slammed his back, back against the mausoleum grimacing at Remus who slowly shook his head with distain. He mouthed “Sit still” at Sirius, who shrugged but did not make effort to move again, both men listening intently to the reactions of Sirius’ mistake.

———

“What was that?” You demanded? “You bought friends, Macnair?”  
“What? No I can handle this job on my own!”

You both frowned at each other before turning to look at a large stone tomb on your right. Something or someone was there. You had both heard it. Was it an animal? You cast a spell revealing if enemies where around you yet nothing happened. It must have been another crow, You shivered, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand up for the second time. There it was again, the unsettling sensation that you were being watched. The sooner you got out of this place and finished your business the better.

“Hurry up Macnair” you turned back to him. “You’ve gone on long enough, probably alerted half of London to our presence. Now, to what do I owe the pleasure? Why did the Dark Lord send you to meet me here tonight?”

Macnair grumbled, looking at you with a sneer before reaching into his robes…

———-

Remus furrowed his brows. That voice sounded familiar. Macnair was a Death Eater but who was the woman he was talking to and why did Remus…..oh god! It’s Y/N. Remus started to panic. He could see Sirius shaking with anticipation out of the corner of his eye. They were about to come face to face with Y/N - this would not go down well, they were no match for her - everyone would know.

He calculated his options not noticing Sirius had started to move again. Realising Sirius was about to interrupt what he thought was merely a tame Death Eater meeting he frantically tried to get Sirius’ attention by waving his hands erratically in front of him but Sirius was focused - he had found a gap between graves and was now locked on his prey like a bloodhound.

——-

“…I was asked to give you this.” Macnair pulled out a small package from inside his robes pausing before handing it to you. “The Dark Lord was most instant that only you should open this as only you with your, history, would know what it was.”

Could this be it? The clue that broke the mysteries of your past? Explain the darkness within? You eyed the package greedily, eyes flashing purple before you swallowed and took a deep breath. The desire to know what was inside you almost overran your rational thoughts.

Why would Voldemort be taking an interest in your past? What did he know? Was it to use you as a force, a weapon only to discard you later like he did most of his followers? You couldn’t let that happen. However strong the desire to know, the desire of self preservation was stronger.

As if sensing your deliberation, Macnair started pulling back at the same time the hairs on the back or your neck stood up, so fast they almost pinched you. You heard a whoosh and felt yourself lifting into the air and thrown back at force hitting your head on the hard ground, causing you to lose your grip on your wand.

Macnair turned on the spot, ducking from another curse with surprising ability for an old man. The words “Black!” And “Werewolf” reached your crumpled heap as you pulled your self off the ground. So you were being watched, by Order members.

“Nice to see you Macnair! My you are looking fat - been sitting on your arse too much lately? Not Voldemort’s best friend yet?” Sirius Black’s laugh was vivid in his jest - Geez you thought, rubbing your skull - he knew how to hit a nerve.

Macnair cried out in anger, ducked again as another curse flew towards him before lunging at Sirius, conjuring a large whip and slashing it across his back. Sirius was thrown onto his knees before Macnair had him up in the air, held at the neck by an invisible force.

Before you could get up Remus Lupin was hovering above you pointing his wand at your chest looking panicked. You locked eyes with him as you sat on the ground desperately fumbling behind you for your wand. Why wasn’t he doing anything? You frowned into his face almost daring him to hex you half listening to Macnair taunting Sirius who was now being choked by whatever was holding him up.

“Not so cocky now, are you Black?” Macnair sniggered up at him,

“Well…” spluttered Sirius “I have my moments.” One hand grasping at the clasp around his neck he used the other to point his wand at Macnair. It glowed brightly and then suddenly a large fireball emerged heading straight towards Macnair’s wand hand, lighting it up in flames.

At once, Macnair’s curse was broken and Sirius fell to the ground grasping for breath. While Macnair rolled around around in agony. Remus gave you once last look before sprinting over to his friend grabbing his arm hurriedly whispering, “we have to get out of here!”

“What?” Sirius threw him a shocked face, one hand still massaging his neck.

“I’ll explain later, now move!” Before they could a large body of water dropped from above, putting out the fire on Macnair’s arm and drenching Sirius and Remus, while you walked towards them holding the back of your head.

“MY WAND!” Macnair screamed with fury. It was burnt to a crisp. Whatever fire Sirius used was not normal. Sirius was quickly regaining his breath and looking at you with intent to fight.

If you had had time you might have been impressed, but with a quick glance at Remus, you turned your wand on Sirius and cast the cruciatus curse. He fell to the floor writhing in agony. The darkness inside was moving - swirling round and tempting eruption. You braced yourself, waiting. Remus’ hex whipped through your body temporarily winding you and breaking the curse on Sirius.

You grabbed Macnair’s arm, not hearing his screams of protest. The last sight you saw was Sirius coughing on his back, and Remus crouched down next to him but looking at you with an expression akin to sorrow and understanding as you twisted into the darkness and disappeared.


	2. CHAPTER TWO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I am, I am.... a little wicked" - Valerie Broussard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by: The lovely @belladonnarey.  
A/N: eeep here ‘tis! This is going to be a definite slow burn and I apologise for the appalling tragedy you will find below - it had to go in the story and I’m sorry.
> 
> Sirius x reader  
Older Sirius  
Sirius lives/Post Azkaban  
Slow burn and eventual smut
> 
> Word count: 3300+  
Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+  
Warnings: dark themes, torture, grief

The front door of Grimmauld Place was as intimidating as ever as it appeared in front of you and you surged forward.

Livid, you threw open the door, steam rising from your forceful steps as your hot anger scorched the floor where you trod. Better watch that, this house looked primarily constructed of wood.

You were seething. How DARE Remus and Sirius interrupt you. You were SO close to finding out more about your past - a desire you hold in almost as high importance as to finding out what Voldemort intended of you. You were sure this was leading to another muggle attack - if only you had retrieved that package but Macnair stowed the parcel within his robes and then was writhing around in so much agony as you returned him to his home you could not take it without suspicion.

What would he tell Voldemort? You shook that thought from your mind you only had enough room in your head to be enraged at two other men at the moment and knowing these two were here, just ahead of you, sitting around a kitchen table tending to their wounds, you took the opportunity to give them a piece of your mind.

Sirius’ shirt was off and he sat hunched over his chair while Remus, behind him, administered a potion to what you assume was the aftermath of your curse and Macnair’s whip lash on his back.

“WHAT THE ABSOLUTE SODDING HELL DID YOU TWO THINK YOU WERE DOING?!” You burst through the door startling Remus enough to drop the bottle of dittany he was holding and Sirius to jolt, his wound opening again.

“How?! What?! There has been a breach, Moony, QUICK!” Sirius cried turning his wand on you and firing a spell. You easily deflected his spell and with a flick of your wand, disarmed him. He winced as he tried to catch his wand, his injury rendering his reflexes poor as it flew over his head landing on the top of the cabinet behind him.

Remus, swiping up the bottle of dittany, laid a hand on Sirius’ arm, confusing him further.

“Hold your fire Padfoot, she’s with us.”

You didn’t think Sirius’ mouth could open any further. He glared at you and you recoiled slightly from the look in his eyes.

“Moony, she’s Death Eater scum!” He spits. “Tie her up, call Moody NOW!”

“Sirius.” Only Remus addressing him by his first name served to get Sirius to look away from you and at his friend.

“She’s not a Death Eater Sirius, she is working for us. She’s a secret mole for the Order. So secret only Moody and Dumbledore know.”

Seeing that Sirius was still not convinced you decided to get on the defensive. “Look here is my wand.” You addressed Sirius. “I give it to you willingly” you rolled your wand across the table towards him and he snatched it up as you raised your hands. “Remus is correct - I am not and have never been a Death Eater, I work for you - ask Dumbledore and Moody.”

Sirius turned your wand on you, his expression unchanged from that of loathing and repulsion. He was, in his anger, a startling site and it sent a chill right through you.

Symbols started to appear on your forearms, your palms, and up your neck - anywhere you weren’t shielded by clothes was now covered in black markings. Both men look astounded at you as you hurriedly replied, “this happens when I’m scared! I don’t know what they mean. Please don’t look at them!”

Remus, ever the gentleman, turned away but Sirius regarded your markings in a curious manner. He didn’t look disgusted anymore but the surprise on his face is evident. You tug at your sleeves and grasp your neck in embarrassment.

Remus cleared his throat, “perhaps we should call Moody - floo him at least - will that help you stop pointing Y/N’s wand at her like you are going to curse her?” He glanced at Sirius.

“She cursed me first!” He cried indignantly.

“That’s fair” you replied - hands still in the air, scared, but a now a slight smile played on your features. Catching Sirius’ eye you winked at him. “I do apologise about that, I was loathed to do it but it was the only way Macnair would have believed you weren’t there to ambush him on my behalf considering Remus chose not to hex me straight away. Macnair may look stupid but unfortunately he is highly astute. Insufferable prat.”

Sirius flashed a quick smile at that, before quickly rearranging his expression into a frown.

You couldn’t blame him, the cruciatus curse is the foulest of foul devices anyone can use. Some would say death is preferable.

Remus plucked a handful of green power from the mantle and threw it into the fire place. “Alastor Moody’s house” he called clearly as he stepped into the flames and disappeared.

There was silence as Sirius and you looked at each other.

You cleared your throat “I’m going to put my hands down now Mr Black, ok?”

He nodded tightly and gestured to a chair for you to sit.

Still frowning curiously at you he glanced down at your arms and said, “I have a similar rune to that one on my wand.” He pointed to your open forearm as he accio’d his wand to show you.

There was a line of symbols, runes as he said, one after another carved into the long line of his wand. It was rather beautiful. “I’ve never seen this pattern before, did you draw it yourself?” Sirius nodded slowly. “What does it mean?”

He considered you, his gaze less full of hatred and surprise, now of steady curiosity, similar to that of a guard dog regarding another.

“It means: ‘more or less human.’”

You were surprised. Everything you have heard about this man is of cocky, arrogant surety. Not someone who would consider himself half human? You knew a bit about the Black family, that they were up there with all pure blood fascists. You thought he must be like them, he certainly looked like them. His long dark hair, chiselled cheekbones and dress was quintessential of aristocratic grace and superiority. Like it or not, he looked like everyone of the pure blood, supremacist wizards but apparently not if he is working for the Order and referred to Death Eaters as ‘scum.’ Clearly there is more to this man than meets the eye.

Sirius was still watching you, hand tensed on your wand as if he was waiting for any sudden movements. You were struck again by the alarming sight he is as he stood before you. Shirtless, sweat dripping from raised pectorals, running over taught stomach muscles. He was broad chested and decorated in tattoos. Skimming over his frame your eyes caught a marking sitting promptly above his trouser line under neath his belly button.

“I have that one too!” You exclaim, pointing at the mark. He looked down to where you are pointing and raised his eyebrows at you.

“Yes, it appears over my heart when the symbols…well I guess runes appear.”

“This one?” Sirius touched his abdomen “It means a sort of ‘new growth, new beginnings if you will.”

You had never sought what the symbols meant as when they appear you are usually in no mind for researching but also you were always afraid at what you would find. That they would revel further darkness inside of you. Slightly hopeful at finding that you might not be decorated in diabolical signs of evil you divulged further.

“Yes but it is slightly inverse of yours, like the mirror image - is that still the same? What does that mean?”

He regarded you for a moment and then answered gravely, “destruction.”

Your sharp in take of breath was masked by Remus and Moody appearing out of the fireplace.

Sirius, once again, ready for action gripped your wand but relaxed at the sight of the old auror and his friend.

“You can put that away, Sirius I have us covered.” Seeing Moody calmed you and any markings previously visible on your skin, disappeared.

Moody’s limped towards the table pulling a flask out of his robes and handed it to you. You rolled your eyes as you take it from him and administer three drops to your tongue.

How many more times will he make you take veritiserum?

He cocked an eyebrow as you grimace at the taste and uttered, “can’t be too careful, Y/N.”

You sat up and waited for Moody’s questions. He, instead, pulled out a chair next to you sat down facing Sirius and Remus holding his hands out, “ok gentlemen, ask her anything.”

Remus paused, but Sirius straight away asked: “Are you a Death Eater?”  
“No.” You answer confidently.

“What is your name?”  
“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N”

“Who do you work for?”  
“Anyone from the Order of the Phoenix”

“For how long?”  
“Since my second year out of school”

“Why?”  
You stall, you have never been asked this question before. Surely the answer is obvious? Good vs Bad and you were on the side of Good - like him right? “Because the world is not made better by elitist idiots who think they are superior to everyone else, that just causes more pain than anything."

“Who recruited you?”  
“Professor Dumbledore.”

“How did he find you?”  
“He watched me at school and located me nine years ago when I was 18 trying and failing to infiltrate a Pure Blood Elitist meeting. They were still prevalent even though Voldemort was officially thought dead. He said that he knew I despised pure blood mania but I was going to get myself killed if I did this alone or worst be used by the enemy for my ‘gifts’? You signed quotation marks with your fingers in mid air as you said the word ‘gifts’ and Sirius couldn’t miss the distain in your voice.

Sirius paused, then lowered his own voice, “what can you do?”  
You grimaced and slowly listed the unusual powers you have. Moody who had heard this before did not find it alarming but the two men before you could not hide their amazement.

“Have you ever hurt anyone with your gifts?”  
“Sirius!” Remus warned as you answer; “Yes”

“Out of anything other than defence” Remus added  
“No.”

Sirius continued his questions.  
“How does Remus know about you?”

“I saved his life from a werewolf attack two months ago. At another late night Death Eater rendezvous. I knew they were stalking Order members but I didn’t know they were going to use lethal force. It was Fenrir, he transformed during the meeting and went for Remus. I cursed him and played it off like I missed my aim at Remus, hitting Fenrir instead.

There was silence as Sirius digested this. You had again put yourself in danger of discovery, this time in front of one of the most dangerous blood lustful werewolves and took the consequences. What were the consequences of making a mistake in Voldemort’s ranks, Sirius wondered.

Remus, wondering the same thing, burst out with the question that had been plaguing him since that evening two months ago: “What did they do to you for your mistake?”

You swallowed, not able to hold the truth back, “They killed my dog!”

Tears streamed down your face, the truth potion not allowing you to remain in dignified silence, you recounted the awful punishment from Voldemort and the ‘lesson’ he said you would learn from your mistake. He believed your ‘affinity’ as he called it, to your own pet clouded your judgement and allowed you to mistake one animal from the other. That wouldn’t do and before you could react to what he was saying he flicked his wand - there was a flash of green light followed by a thud and your beloved companion was dead on the floor.

That moment caused you some of the worst pain you had ever experienced and you had a lot of pain catalogued to choose from. She was the only light in your troubling world, helping to make you feel less alone, and now she was gone. It took immense strength to not react to Voldemort then or anytime you thought about her in his presence.

The memory was overwhelming and terrified you to your bones. Scared of anything like that happening again the symbols or runes, as you now know them, reappeared.

“Why did Dumbledore ask you to pose as a Death Eater?” Sirius asked gently, distracting you from your tears.  
“He knew Voldemort wasn’t really dead it was only a matter if time before he resurfaced. He thought Voldemort would be interested in me and that becoming a ‘Death Eater’ would keep me safe.”

“Safe?” Sirius questioned, confused.  
“Yes my abilities did not go unnoticed at Hogwarts. Dumbledore reasoned that it was only a matter of time before Voldemort came recruiting and would kill me if I said no. This way I get to help, rather than be used as a pawn.”

“Do you like your position for the order?” Moody shifted in his seat as Sirius asked this and turned to you waiting for your answer.  
“I hate it.” You spit, surprising even yourself.

“Why do you do it?”  
“I want to help and this is the only way. I was happy at having a plan finally to stop all this pure blood is greater than thou mania, excited even to be working for a group and not alone. But the more I learn about Voldemort’s ideas for a superior race and the way his followers talk and act towards anyone else disgusts me. I feel dirty having to agree with them even though I know it is a facade. It’s devastating and it gets to me the blood and torture and hurt they inflict.”

All men remain silent as you say this, watching you pull at your sleeve and steadying your anger. “I’m also scared of hurting people with my powers being used and having no control. Dumbledore has promised to…” You stalled.

“What has he promised, Y/N” Sirius asks.

You look directly into his grey eyes and state; “To take me out if it looks like they could cause me to hurt anyone.

“Take you…?!” Sirius and Remus look, appalled, Moody who’s grim but calm face gave away that he already knew of this potential eventuality.

As Sirius opened his mouth to argue, Moody held his plan up, silencing him. “Are you satisfied she is not a Death Eater now Sirius?”

Sirius nodded and Moody continued. “Right now we need to worry about a cover story for Y/N as to why her and Macnair’s meeting failed.”

“I’ve been thinking about that” you voiced. “I really think you are going to have to administer a delayed curse, one that takes its time - enough for me to get home but not be able to leave. Something that knocks me out for a few days.”

Moody appraised you admiringly, however Sirius and Remus looked disgusted.

“Delayed curses are terrible Y/N.” Said Remus. “There is a reason they are delayed - to gain strength overtime and completely floor you.”

“You are not just going to get knocked out.” Added Sirius. You will experience pain to the level of a cruciatus curse but for days as you are paralysed to do anything.”

“It’s the only way.” You continued on before either man could argue again. “I get home and can stage it like I was trying to get into contact with Voldemort before succumbing to the curse. That way when they find me, it will look realistic that I was trying to contact.”

“Can’t you just summon him with your dark mark?” Remus asked quietly.

You shook your head.

“I can’t be branded. As soon as the runes you saw appear, they dissolve any artificial marking on my skin, such as tattoos.

Once again, Sirius’ mouth opened in shock.

“I know.” You said to him. “I spent so many galleons on a full sleeve tattoo trying to hide my markings only for them to dissolve that tattoo when they appeared.”

“How did Voldemort react to you not being able to carry the dark mark?” Remus asked.

“He was…” you searched your mind remembering a white hot hex on your back. “…not pleased.”

“Right then.” Moody stood up. “This has been a great chit chat but we need to get you home. I’ll administer the curse and then you get straight home you’ll only have a few minutes before it begins.”

“Can Sirius do it?” You looked at Moody before turning to Sirius. “I owe you one for my curse and I’d like to call it quits. Just in case you feel like bringing it up each time we meet - I heard you can hold a grudge.

You gave him a rueful smile and a smirk played on his lips as he gave you a curt nod.

“Remember gentlemen, no one can know that Y/N works for us - got it?” Remus and Sirius nodded. “Well as you now believe Y/N is no longer trying to breach head quarters I will take my leave.” He swiftly limped to the fire place, snatched a hand full of floor powder and disappeared into the flames.

The three of you remained seated, Remus and Sirius considering you but with very different looks on their faces. Remus looked pained and apologetic where as Sirius watched you with a contemplative glare - and was that admiration in his stare you wondered?

You stood up, took your wand from Sirius’ hand and stowed it in your robes. Facing the two men you said, “Ok, hit me.”

Sirius raised himself up and looked at you. “Brace yourself Y/N.”

You nodded holding your arms out. Once more the runes appeared. Sirius winced slightly knowing that though you put on a cool front, you were scared. Each time the runes appeared on you that evening he felt unease and did not unwind until they began to dissolve. He didn’t realise this but he was not enjoying seeing you scared.

Sirius waved his wand through the air, closed his eyes for a moment then looked straight at you. His eyes black with anger he forcefully pointed his wand at you and you felt a cold chill wash over you entire form.

Once finished he lowered his head and drew a shaking breath. “I wager you have 20 minutes, so Y/N - lets get you home.”

As Remus and Sirius escorted you out the front door you stumbled slightly knocking a hideous trolls foot over causing a clanking sound to erupt in the hallway. At once a pair of curtains flew open revealing a woman with black hair and eyes looking down at you in indescribable rage - her face twisted with disgust as she screamed about honour and half blood filth. Her foul administrations on muggles and half breeds rang throughout the house.

You found yourself growing hot with anger, and perhaps weakened by the curse flowing through your body, you were unable to steal your emotions and calm yourself.

One hand holding the wall, the other directed at the woman in the portrait you lit her up in flames. The fire silenced her and allowed Remus and Sirius to yank the curtains shut. Shutting the woman up and putting the fires out as quickly as they had started.

Both men looked at you.

“Sorry” you beseeched. “Things burn when I get angry. Usually I can control it better. I just couldn’t stand what she was saying, whoever she is.”

“My mother.” Sirius exclaimed looking impressed.

You gave him an apologetic grimace before crossing the threshold of number 12 Grimmauld Place and apparating home in the cool night air.

Sirius, watched you go and then quietly closed the door. He looked at Remus who merely shrugged and said “Well you did say you were bored, Padfoot!” Before turning around and walking back to the kitchen for a cup of tea.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: all characters are assumed 18+, Eventual smut, a little dark at parts.  
Warnings: swearing, light smut, NSFW 18+

**Sirius POV**

Sirius stood frozen as the door of Grimmauld Place closed in front of him and Remus had turned to the kitchen.

What the fuck just happened? In the space of seven hours, he had gone from excited, to tortured, to fearful, to confused and then what? A quiet admiration? All towards one person.

Sirius was a reckless man yes, but he did not let people or a person get under his skin so much. He had learnt the hard way to push down his feelings to survive, first in his family and second in Azkaban.

Yet he was at a loss for the multiple emotions swirling around his head. He tried to focus on the strongest feelings, process those and move on but the foremost emotions battling around his brain were amazement and shock, followed by a warm light tingling sensation he hadn’t had in a long time and did not want to deal with right now.

Sirius sighed and looked up at his mother’s portrait. A crooked smile played on his features as the curtains, still smoking from Y/N’s fire, fluttered almost angrily at him.

Scratching his jaw and exhaling softly, Sirius headed down the hall, calling out to Remus to pour him a drink as well. They had many things to discuss.

———

Over at your place, things weren’t as calm. You had managed to apparate onto your doorstep, landing slightly unceremoniously on a pot of ivy. The pain was increasing. It wasn’t as bad as you had anticipated, certainly not the same level as the cruciatus curse. This meant the worst was still to come. You shuddered at the thought.

Fumbling with the lock on your front door you stumbled into your apartment, legs refusing to cooperate.

“Quill, quill, parchment…” You mumbled to yourself, eyesight blurred as you struggled to glance around your living room.

On the windowsill was a strip of parchment; on top of it a quill. “Accio parchment!” It soared through the air, hitting you on the head as your reflexes failed you, falling to the floor at your feet.

Holding your temple, you gasped as your legs gave way and you dropped to the floor. You felt an out of body experience as the curse blew through you. Still you were expecting far worse than this. Reaching for your quill you tried in vain to scribble a coherent sentence your bones aching and muscles pinching you holding your movements back.

A thud behind your eyes was growing, beating a constant tattoo behind your eyelids. It made seeing what you were doing impossible.

You couldn’t move your arms to hold your head which was still smarting from the knock caused by Remus earlier. You closed your eyes and curled up in a ball, and as the tears started rolling down your cheeks the pain reached a crescendo, everything went black, and you remembered no more.

————

“We are going to want more than tea, Moony.” Sirius reentered the kitchen of Grimmauld Place addressing Remus who stood with two mugs of tea, pouring hot water from the kettle.

He looked up at Sirius and frowned before comprehension dawned on his face.

“You split Y/N’s curse didn’t you?” Sirius nodded.

“Bloody heck Sirius, you could have warned me!”

“I’m warning you now, mate. Firewhiskey’s on the top shelf over there.” Sirius pointed to a cabinet above the stove.

Remus sighed and looked at his friend, half exasperated and half proud. “So instead of doing what Y/N suggested you half cursed her, siphoning off the rest of the side effects to you and I?”

“Not half.” Sirius corrected. “It still needs to be enough pain to knock her out and convince the Death Eaters she really was cursed but she won’t be out for days, more likely 10 hours as we’ll get some of the pain, minimising hers.”

“Where did you learn to do that? I have read about it but heard it takes um… practice” Remus asked carefully.

“My mother used to make me practise curses on animals, I didn’t want to but if I didn’t she would curse them and it would be much worse. I found the charm to measure and siphon off part or all of the curse and used to do that, pretending to curse things but really feeling it myself.”

Remus, looked down and nodded at this. Every now and then Sirius would surprise him by highlighting he wasn’t just an arrogant prankster but a kind and noble man. Deep down.

“Well I’m impressed Padfoot.” Said Remus handing Sirius a bottle of Firewhiskey and two tumblers. “Not to sound like an arsehole, but why did you drag me into this - couldn’t you have taken it by yourself?”

Knowing he was joking Sirius laughed before adding, “You sort of owe her, Moony.”

Remus stared at him. “What for?”

“She lost her dog protecting you mate! Her dog!”

“Oh I knew you would bring that up, always sensitive about the dog.” Remus smiled before a somber look took over his features. “I do feel terrible about that so fair enough.” He accepted the now full glass proffered by Sirius, but paused before taking a sip.

“So tell me, what are we in for?”

Sirius gave Remus a side smile, pointing at the glass in his hand. “Let’s just say we need to get drunk…”

————

“Ow, fuck Moony! That was a bad one!” Sirius clutched his stomach as a piercing cramp rolled through his abdomen.

Beer bottles and firewhisky littered the kitchen table where the two men had sat for the past three hours getting steadily and steadily more pissed as they waited for the phantom pains to pass.

“Sssseriously, Siriusssslllly aha Moony.” Grinned Sirius. “Thiss has gotta be worse than con-contractions!”

“Don’t say that in front of Wolly Measley!” Remus and Sirius both giggled, and then very quickly groaned aloud holding various parts of their bodies as the curse delivered more pain.

“WHEN WILL IT END?!”

“You bloody made the curse Footpad. Hoo-You tell me?” Remus scoffed at his friend. “It is easing off now though, I’d hizzzard a gas mmmmm two hours left!”

“You are tobably, protally right as usssual Mooooons.”

Remus waved his hands in front of him like an orchestra conductor and took a bow. Unfortunately forgetting he was sitting and hitting his forehead on the table as he bent forward far too low.

Sirius roared with laughter, as Remus rubbed his sore furrowed brow, chuckling alongside Sirius.

They were still giggling as the flames in Sirius kitchen fireplace gleamed green and Madeye Moody stepped out.

Eying both men and the table full of booze, Moody shook his head.

“We’re fit-shaced!” Sirius exclaimed happily.

“I can see that.” Moody replied as Remus tried and failed to make an inconspicuous ‘shussing’ gesture at Sirius behind his hand.

“They’ve found her.” Moody continued.

“Oh YYYY-YAY!” Remus hiccuped.

“The ‘Death Eaters’ found her.” Moody emphasised.

“Oh, so not yay.” Remus corrected himself.

“Isssshe good all? I mean all good?” Slurred Sirius

“She managed to get in her front door and look like she was trying to send a message before she passed out. I watched her house myself and saw the aftermath.”

He paused, waiting to see if Sirius and Remus were keeping up in their drunk states.

“They believe she was cursed at any rate and are on the hunt for Macnair as it became clear he hadn’t delivered her Voldemort’s parcel. Dumbledore is going to keep an eye out. She is recovering at her house now. So, congratulations on performing a convincing cover story.”

“Sold you I could to it…do it!” Cheered Sirius while Remus placed one hand over his chest, the other still rubbing his forehead.

“Huurumph.” Moody turned and stalked back to the fire place calling over his shoulder.

“The next time, don’t siphon off the curse, Sirius. I have had a headache for four hours.”

Remus, who had been attempting to take a sip of beer, choked at Moody’s words. Mouth agape and beer dripping down his chin, he pointed at Sirius who giggled sending them both into crackling laughter as Moody whooshed away into the floo.

———-

Several hours later Sirius lifted his head from the kitchen table. From the look of the light outside it was mid-morning. He groaned and pushed himself up blinking heavily.

Remus was nowhere to be seen, likely he put himself to bed after Sirius had passed out.

Funny, Sirius could have sworn they moved into the living room after Moody’s visit.

He stepped over to one of his kitchen cabinets, pulled the door open and fumbled inside until his hands grasped the bottle he had been searching for; the Hangover Draught.

He quickly gulped it down and lent against the bench, head hanging low while he waited for the potion to take affect.

It had been a strange night as he and Remus had grappled with the offset of his curse.

Remus had probed into Sirius’ motivations for sharing Y/N’s pain in the first place.

Not being able to give Remus a satisfactory answer, Sirius was subject to what he used to call ‘The Moony Prefect Stare’ - an annoying smug look Remus would save for him and James at school when Remus knew they were hiding something and had a good idea of what that something was.

In all honesty Sirius didn’t know why he had decided to help Y/N. Perhaps it was somewhere in between the 5th question of her veritiserum trial and the look on her face when he read her runes.

She seemed familiar somehow and he couldn’t help but feel for her situation.

_“You believe her but you still don’t trust Snape.” Remus had questioned him._

_“Snape started out wanting to be a Death Eater, and I noticed no-one has asked him to take a truth potion.” Sirius snapped back._

_“Fair enough.” Remus nodded in reply. “He’s a Potion Master though isn’t he - he’d see it coming anyway so regardless, we’d never know if it worked. We’ll just have to take Dumbledore’s word for it.”_

_Sirius had snorted in a dissatisfied manner._

_Did he trust Y/N though?_  
_ ~Yes~ a voice in the back of his head answered._  
_ Shaking his head he had taken a shot of fire whisky and changed the subject._

That’s how the rest of the evening passed for Remus and Sirius, pleasant laughs of nostalgia and light anecdotes punctuated by bouts of phantom pain from the curse and varying degrees of sobriety.

Something had stayed in the back of Sirius’ mind all night though, and he wasn’t sure if it was welcome.

Pushing himself off the kitchen bench, feeling marginally better, Sirius made his way down the hallway and up the staircase to bed. On his way he noticed that someone had changed the colour of his carpet to gold. Must have been Remus on his way to bed. Sirius shrugged his shoulders to no-one muttering to himself that it made a nice change from the dull blue his mother had chosen.

He reached his room but couldn’t find the doorknob to open the bedroom door. Frowning to himself and thinking perhaps he was still drunk he looked down to see the handle sitting on the opposite side of the door than it should have been.

As he reached for it, it moved up to the top of the door frame. Several moments of Sirius getting increasingly more impatient chasing his door knob all over the door he finally managed to grab it and force it to turn.

“Very funny Moony.” Sirius barked out to the door opposite his room.

He pushed the door roughly and entered his room.

Sirius had never put his shirt back on from last night so he only had to kick off his trousers but they were tight and he was having difficulty.

“Need a hand?” A voice purred from over by his bed.

Sirius started, one foot in the air trying to pull his pants off his ankles.

“What the?!”

“I’d love to help but I’m a little tied up…”

Speechless Sirius looked at his bed. There, sprawled naked, was Y/N, hands tied to his head board by his Gryffindor tie.

Sirius toppled over in surprise. Quickly recovering himself, removing the last inch of his trouser leg he stepped towards his bed.

“Y/N! What are you doing here?”

She was gorgeous. Laid out in front of him like some debaucherous smorgasbord of desire.  
Beads of sweat dripping down her smooth skin. Her breasts were plump and supple, her hair strewn across his pillow added to her wanton air as she looked up at him bitting her lip and squeezing her legs together.

Sirius had mentally clocked her figure as she left headquarters last night, he had helped her up of course from her fall and felt the curves of her waist beneath his hand. Not noticing at the time he watched her until she disapparated…hang on? Something clicked.

“Y/N aren’t you suppose to be recovering still? I know I didn’t use the strongest curse on you but how did you get here?”

“You tell me Sirius.” She bit her lip again and looked at him longingly.

Sirius was sweating, barely aware he was only in his underwear.

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Y/N.” He licked his lips anxiously. Oh mother of Morgana he was turned on.

“Really? Your body language doesn’t seem to agree with you.” Y/N looked down indicating to a growing bulge in his briefs.

Sirius, never one to be shy about sex, simply placed one hand over himself and ran the other through his hair smiling slightly as he tried to control his thoughts into some semblance of order.

_Was this a bad idea?_

“Y/N we barely know each other.”

“That’s never stopped you before.” She winked.

“True” He smiled at her, pausing before speaking what was in his head. “A few hours ago we were cursing each other. This is rather fast don’t you think?”

“I know but I really, really want you Sirius.” She sounded pained.

Y/N tilted her head back and closed her eyes. “Please Sirius, just touch me. I need you to touch me.”

Sirius’ cock twitched under his hand. He hadn’t felt this desired in a long time. Bursts of excitement were sparking up and down his body.

“Y/N…” he growled.

“Sirius.”

He walked forward until he was right next to the bed.

“Sirius.” She was getting louder in her pleas rubbing her thighs together, squirming where she was feeling the heat the most.

“Y/N” Sirius growled again. He reached out to run the tips of his fingers down her side, brushing across her nipples. She strained against the ties and arched up into him.

“Oh my Godric.” He was aching now.

He gently placed his hands either side of her head and lay on top of her, leaning closer to her swollen lips, they were brushing against his. He ground his hips down into hers and she moaned.

Sirius closed his eyes ecstasy and tried to calm his breathing. It had been a while but he still wanted to control himself and ensure she had just as good a time.

“SIRIUS!” She was chanting his name over and over.

As his lips descended on hers he felt a sudden sharp blow to his temple.

Surprised he looked down at Y/N but she was gone. He could hear her calling to him but he couldn’t see where she was. He blinked several times, the room began swirling before him.

“Wha-whats happening Y/N?”

“SIRIUS!”

“Y/N?”

“SIRIUS MATE, WAKE UP!”

Sirius’ vision stopped swimming in front of him, he opened his eyes to see Remus spread over the living room floor, holding various objects ready to lob them at him were he lay, face flat on the living room couch.

“What the fuck Moony, I was asleep!” Sirius muffled into the couch cushions.

“I know and moaning Y/N’s name over and over, it was a bit off putting mate.”

So it was merely a dream. Of course. That explained the different coloured carpet, his changing door handle and Y/N on his…he shuddered, a thrill pulsed through him.

“Anything you want to talk about Padfoot?” Remus could barely contain his laughter.

Sirius threw the book Remus had tossed at him and gave him a wry smile.

“i’m going to make some coffee, want some?”

Remus yawned and nodded.

“Got any hangover potion? I feel rotten.” Sirius smirked, stood up and heading back to the kitchen.

It was full of bottles, cigarette butts, and a half cooked pizza.

He searched through the kitchen cabinets for the Hangover Draught feeling a vague sense of déjà vu. Was he stuck in a dream loop? He would be up for that especially if waiting for him in his bedroom was Y/N.

Alas, Sirius shook his head. He wasn’t dreaming anymore he was sure of it. For one thing, there was no hangover potion left which was typical and the carpet, he had noticed, was back to it’s normal shade of dreary blue.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters are assumed 18+, Eventual smut, a little dark at parts.  
Warnings: swearing, dirty thoughts, NSFW 18+
> 
> Request by: The lovely @belladonnarey. 
> 
> A/N: So sorry for the delay, here ‘tis - the morning after the curse and Y/N is feeling less than perky. Enjoy and stay safe out there my lovelies.

It was cold, sitting on concrete. Even though he had a coat of fur, Sirius was cold.

How does she stand living this far up North? He thought to himself, shivering slightly.

It didn’t help that he was surrounded by wet bush either. Sirius shook his coat and contemplated for the 50th time what he was doing here.

_She’s fine._ He told himself.

Both Dumbledore and Madeye have said she is fine. Still, he needed to see for himself. It had been nagging him over the past 24 hours.

Hangover gone, loose end obviously at, Sirius soon found himself sitting, shielded by shrubbery in front of your place.

For four hours he had been sat in his chilly, damp hidey-hole watching. Sensing no movement.

Just ten more minutes, then I’ll go. Sirius told himself for the umpteenth time.

\---

“Come on Y/N. Get a fucking move on!” You growled at yourself through gritted teeth.

One foot in front of the other, you tackled the stairs.

Sirius had been right, a delayed curse was agony. It took you the best part of a day to get yourself out of bed, and as soon as you had managed to walk to the bathroom and back, you decided to tackle the stairs.

One step at a time, holding onto the banister for dear life you made it halfway. Stopping to rest and congratulate yourself you couldn’t help but feel smug that you were up and about, in the loosest sense of the word, in only one day. They had told you it would take at least three before you could get out of bed. Smirking smugly you straightened your shoulders and began to descend the remaining flight.

The smug security would soon wear off as your muscles, feeling like they were made of molasses and slipping further down inside you with every step, gave way and you fell the remaining steps, to land unceremoniously in a pile at the bottom of the stairs.

Your scream of surprise ending in a hollow ‘umpf’ as you landed, rang throughout the house followed by a loud: “Ow, FUCK!”.

That was painful. Well at least I’m downstairs now. You thought to yourself. Trying and failing to lift yourself up you contemplated calling it a day and just staying in a heap at the bottom of the stairs. It was certainly easier than trying to recover.

You would have laid there for eternity had it not been for a scramble at the front door. Crawling across the hallway you sat up enough to turn the handle and pull the door open. There stood a shaggy black dog with the most incredible grey eyes.

It whined and looked at you obviously concerned. It looked like your old dog but bigger, and hairier. The memory of her loving face swam in front of your face caused tears to fill your eyes and sobs to break free of your chest. From your seated position on the floor you held your arms open and slurred “Come ‘ere.”

The dog instantly ran into your arms and you gripped it firmly. Pressing your face into its fur and breathing deep.

Fairly certain this was a side effect of the pain you grasped at the dog's fur, pulling it closer and whispering, “Where did you come from? Tell me are you real?”

It whined again as though trying to answer your question.

Feeling the fur you gripped for dear life dissolve, and knowing that this must have been a mirage of the mind but not wanting to let it go you pressed your face further into the beast. The soft black fur disappeared to make way for a firm warm substance. You blink looking at it opening your eyes further to see that you are clinging on to a white t-shirt connected to two muscled arms encircling you and rubbing your back.

A scent of vetiver and musk filled your nostrils and stirred a memory inside you. What the? You look up to see Sirius staring back at you, the surprise palpable on your face.

He seemed surprised himself. “Y/N! Hi, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you...I heard you yell.”

“You heard me yell?” He nodded rubbing the back of his neck a faint blush forming on his cheeks, one hand still holding you.

“Yes I didn’t mean to reveal myself though - I thought you would be more comfortable with Padfoot...my dog form.” He added looking at your confused face.

“You heard me yell?” you repeated.

He nodded again.

“Were you outside?”

“I was.” He looked nervous again. “I wanted to check on you.” He appraised your tear stricken face and rumpled appearance. “You look...well.”

This managed to draw a “hrmph” from you as the corner of your mouth curled up a bit.

“Well, okaaay.” You said still looking at Sirius as if he was an illusion your addled mind had made up.

“I’m sorry Y/N, I really didn’t mean to frighten you by transforming mid-hug, I don’t know what happened?”

You closed your eyes and sighed. “It’s me, remember I told you I can sort of command animals? Well, that works for Animagi as well in their animal forms.”

“You’re kidding?!” You shook your head.  
“I asked you if you were real, and you answered me by showing me how you are.”

“Well, fuck me!” Sirius gazed into the distance. I’ll be careful never to be Padfoot around you when you’re pissed off with me then.

You smiled. Internally shoving the immediate thought that someone was referring to future contact with you. _They all leave in the end._

“Can you help me up Sirius, I was coming downstairs to make tea.”

“Yes! Yes of course!” Sirius wrapped his arms around your waist and stood you up with him.

“Lean on me, love. Ok which way?”

You directed Sirius to the kitchen, leaning on his, admittedly, well-formed shoulder. As you slowly moved forward he couldn’t help notice the feel of your waist in his hands triggering a memory of his sex dream with you and causing him to loudly clear his throat.

“Are you ok Sirius? You are wincing?” You had noticed that he was taking careful effort to walk forward with you.

“I’m not too heavy am I?”

“Not at all Y/N.” He gave you a side smile.

“Just had a bit of a rough night the other night is all.”

You nodded wondering what he meant.

“Ok, here we go.” he gently placed you on the stool in front of your kitchen table then walked to the other side looking for cups, the kettle, and tea.

You directed him where these items were located and you realised that this is the first time you had anyone enter your house for anything other than Order or Death Eater business. No one ever came to check on you before.

“Y/N, I wanted to talk to you about your ‘powers.’” Sirius had looked up from placing tea bags in two mugs and was staring at you with a concerned look on his face.

Smile suddenly fading at the realisation that he was here just on business, you hardened your mind.

“Yes. What about them?” Your curt response was not lost on him but he pressed on.

“Why did you not know what the runes meant?”

“Why does anyone know what they mean?” You responded narrowing your eyes at him. “The only known runes are useless to me. I took that class at Hogwarts trying to seek out the meaning to my tattoos only to find them not to be there at all.”

“There’s more extensive research than Ancient Runes at Hogwarts, Y/N” Sirius replied incredulously.

“Yes, I do realise that.” You spat. “I have looked beyond Professor Laurenzoo’s class, but they aren’t anywhere. I can’t find anything that looks like my tattoos until I saw yours the other night.”

You huffed. Breathing was not coming easy and the pain in your body was starting to ache again with your anger making your insides hot. You closed your eyes, holding your ribs and sigh. You were too weak to retaliate.

Noticing your shortness of breath Sirius stepped around the table over to you and placed a hand on your arm.

“Y/N, are you ok, you shouldn’t be up - I’ll take you back to bed.”

“No, I’m fine.” You grunt.

“You are clearly not fine, love.” Sirius gently cupped your jaw, encouraging you to look at him.

As your eyes locked with his they flashed purple. You knew this because the caring concerned look he was giving you a second ago was replaced by one of confusion, surprise, and was that intrigue?

Your hackles stood on end as you realised you were getting close to losing your temper at him and despite your belief that you didn’t need help, some part of you wanted to keep your cool with him. Why? They all leave sooner or later. An inner voice shook inside you.

“I’m fine, Sirius.”

Sirius didn’t move away. He was not afraid of you but for you. He could tell when someone was bottling up anger, hurt, and pain. He saw himself mirrored in your face and he desperately wanted to help you.

“You can’t keep doing this Y/N, you’ll burn out.” his thumb softly rubbed your cheek.

It felt so nice and you instantly became terrified. He needed to stop. You could not attach yourself to anyone, or anything anymore - if they don’t end up leaving you they will just meet their demise.

Poised to move away from him you stopped as Sirius’ other hand found yours and squeezed it gently. He moved infinitesimally closer to you and you could feel the faint cool brush of his breath on your forehead.

It felt good. More than good. You found yourself squeezing his hand back and leaning into the palm that held your cheek.

The white t-shirt he wore expanded and contracted in front of you with his rapidly increasing breath. You could see an outline of a taut stomach. Thinking of him topless in his kitchen while he interrogated you, you remembered the lines of his pectorals and the thin layer of sweat that hung to his skin, rogue droplets forming on the ridges of his abs and falling tantalizingly slowly to settle on the waistband of his trousers.

You looked up at him to see your lust mirrored in his face. A slow smirk formed on his face. Far from making you smile however, that look hardened your resolve and you recalled that this wasn’t the first time you had been propositioned for sex from someone who found your powers intriguing.

The second emotion to flash across your mind is embarrassment followed by disappointment.

You had heard stories of this man. He was not the type to stick around. Even if he did he would be a hard dog to keep on the porch. _Think Y/N! Think. This is Sirius Black_. He was threatening to curse you less than 48 hours ago, he can’t possibly like you more than just a one night stand.

_Well, what’s wrong with that?_ Another voice in the back of your mind quietly uttered. There is nothing wrong with two consenting adults falling into bed together.

I bet he knows what he is doing. The same voice piped up - louder this time.

Oh god, he probably would have you screaming his name until sunset, you thought to yourself causing a plucking sensation in your core. Images of his naked body covering yours, touching you, feeling you, pressing against you entered your mind and made you visibly shudder.

Sirius noticed this and raised an eyebrow questioningly at you.

As quickly as this thought train occurred, the gravity of your situation fell down upon you. _He doesn’t want you, Y/N._ Another, more frequent, voice said.

And even if he did, you are a curse yourself, you cannot and will not allow anyone else to fall victim to your circumstance.

Frowning at him, you dropped his hand and sat up as straight as you could without falling over.

“What do you want Sirius, did you come here for sex? Because it’s not the first time a proposition has been carefully covered in a duvet of supposed caring words.”

Sirius stepped back from you and removed his hands so fast.

“No Y/N, no I was worried about you! I wouldn’t...ah..I’m not…” He paused and looked at you sheepishly. “If you are offering though...?” he smiled jokingly then immediately forced a somber expression on his face. “No, I wanted to see if you were ok, after the curse...the...what I did.” Flashes of you on his bed begging him to touch you swam around his brain causing him to screw his eyes shut and shake his head.

He was obviously uncomfortable. This softened you. You looked at him for a moment longer and noticed something. Is Sirius Black blushing?

He cleared his throat again and pressed on. “Anyway Y/N, you might not have found what you are looking for at Hogwarts or Flourish and Blotts but I happen to know of a book that is filled with Ancient runes, runes beyond Merlin and Mordred, that I’m sure could enlighten you on some of your tattoos. Are you interested?”

The desperation in your eyes at this information left him reeling. If you could, you would have jumped toward him. “Yes! Yes, Sirius, I am! Where... how do you know about this?”

“Well, I own it.” He shrugged at your raised eyebrows and answered your silent question.

“Old wizarding families, Y/N. You said you didn’t have a family? Well, then how could you have any family heirlooms? Most ancient magic is owned by collectors or passed down through inheritance, that’s why you have never found anything you can buy or learn in class.”

You held your fingertips up to your mouth in amazement looking around the room. Is this it? Could you finally be finding clues to your past?

Sirius smiled again. It is a warm smile full of compassion. “Come on Y/N. I’ll help you back to bed then leave you to rest.”

He ever so gently picked you up and carried you towards the stairs. As you placed your arm over his shoulders a thought occurred to you.

“Why are you helping me, Sirius?”

He shrugged, squeezing you closer to his chest in doing so, “Why not Y/N? You helped us, it’s the least I can do.”

That is not quite true. You thought looking up at him as he climbed the stairs.

Sirius placed you on your bed, your tea on the bedside table and watched you close your eyes. As you fell into a slumber, the smile slipped off his face and turned to a tight line of determination. He didn’t know why but he desperately wanted to help you.

You are afraid of yourself. You think you are a bad person and push everyone away. The one time you let a little light into your life it was snuffed out reinforcing that anything you touch burns.

Sirius knew this feeling. He knew it too well and he was adamant that it was not going to take you as it had once taken him.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: All characters are assumed 18+, Eventual smut, a little dark at parts.  
Warnings: swearing, dirty thoughts, NSFW 18+
> 
> Writing request that has taken trajectory of its own!
> 
> A/N: hmmm this one took a while BUT it (hopefully) is the smut you have been waiting for. Let me know what you like about it, what you don’t, what you think will happen. Enjoy and stay safe.

Finding yourself at Number 12 Grimmauld Place became a regular if normal occurrence over the next few weeks. In your spare time you sat on the floor in Sirius’ library, pouring over dusty volumes containing everything and anything related to wizards and witches with  ‘eccentric abilities’  \- the technical term to what you had, apparently. 

The good thing about this was you weren’t the only one who had surfaced over the years with strange skills, there were wizards who could command water without a wand, witches who with one touch could drain a person of their fears, individuals who could fly sans apparatus and countless others who had fascinating and outrageous traits. The bad thing was none of these wizards were alive today to speak with, the last person with documented abilities had died over 100 years ago. Yet again you felt like you were on this journey on your own.

Sirius and Remus were constantly in and out of the house completing various missions and tasks for the order. Sirius checked on you often, bringing you tea or something to eat but kept himself scarce to let you figure out your mysteries alone. He seemed to understand that this was a private affair for you and you were grateful for the time. However each night around 8pm he would come into the Library, sit on one of the old leather couches and ask you about your day. 

You caught snippets of what he and Remus had been up to and learned that one of the missions ended in a grizzly discovery of Macnair’s body - found dead in his home - magic obviously the cause of torture and death. 

Voldemort had become less of a focus in your mind and each time you were called to his presence you found it easy to resist his psychological torment. The disgust on your face was not evident when fellow Death Eaters talked about their foul crimes. Being around Sirius was giving you a strength you never knew you had. The way he threw himself into fighting for equality and the right to live no matter what situation or who he had to work with, both humbled and amazed you. If he can put up with more than 12 years of the world thinking he was a betrayer and cold-blooded killer who was associated with Death Eaters and Voldemort, then you could put up with sporadically rubbing shoulders with Malfoy, Lestrange, and their cronies.

Your new attitude didn’t go unnoticed, it was put down to you growing a stronger stomach for violence and generally taken positively amongst the Death Eater ranks. However, Voldemort, though he outwardly showed no signs of displeasure, watched you more and decided to hold whatever he wanted Macnair to deliver to you for later. Like any nefarious leader, he was constantly on the lookout for a rat in his ranks and you were not exempt from this scrutiny.

After every Death Eater meeting, you would return home before heading over to Grimmauld Place, a new sanctuary, to pour over more books and hopefully absorb the good vibes from its admirable inhabitants. This made being with Death Eaters bearable. On the nights of Order meetings, however, you stayed away. Those evenings were becoming Sirius’ least favourite. It made sense to shield you from them for your own and others’ safety. However, that didn’t stop him feeling concerned for you. Reckless and impulsive, he may be, he was also a very intuitive and perceptive man. He hadn’t failed to notice how much you seem to relax in his library. He wanted that for you, relating to that feeling of relief as almost an addictive substance, he knew you needed and craved it and he wanted to give it to you. Badly. 

He felt protective and territorial of you. If he really wanted to analyse his feelings he would have noticed that your safety, though paramount, was not the only reason he wanted you to come to his house: the lingering looks as he gave you yet another cup of tea, finding a way to bring you into conversation with Remus, seemingly innocently, was a dead giveaway of deeper feelings. Remus said nothing, preferring to feign ignorance, yet the annoyingly knowing looks he gave Sirius hinted otherwise.

“Just ask her, Padfoot.” Remus sighed exasperatedly, shuffling his paper one day as Sirius kept looking towards the door of his library, knowing you were inside.

“Ask her what?” Sirius tried and failed to nonchalantly reply.

“Out, mate!” 

Sirius frowned, placing both hands on the kitchen table as though readying his defense. “For one: what makes you think I want to ask her out? And two: I couldn’t anyway - we are supposed to be on opposing sides remember?” 

Remus stared at his friend, conceding defeat but not enough to hold in his last words before disappearing behind the Daily Prophet; “True but if it can be concealed from the Death Eaters that she is at your house every day, then asking her to have dinner with you is not a huge step up I would think.”

There was another reason, Sirius hadn’t tried to gauge your feelings: He didn’t want you to think he was just trying to get a leg over. Your outright statement about his intentions after he first visited your house, had stuck with him. He concluded that you didn’t want him and pursuing you would only harden your view towards him further. So he played it safe, frustrating himself and unknowingly frustrating you in the process.

\---

Sirius’ library was vast and carried more volumes on runes than all the franchises of Flourish and Blotts combined. What was interesting was that the interpretation of runes and ancient markings was just as vast and also open into a plethora of interpretation. You had discovered that the rune on your chest - the mirror image of one of Sirius’ tattoos - did indeed mean ‘destruction’ but in a form of new growth. Much like a farmer sowing soil, ridding the earth of old, dead, and rotting plants preparing it for new seeds.

Two runes on your left arm meant ‘Harm To My Enemies' and another on your thigh could be interpreted as ‘The East Wind’. Other forms of your abilities were harder to quantify as there was no record of someone with all the same traits as you, however, those who had shown up throughout history with varying sources of atypical power were more often than not tyrants and individuals who used their abilities for evil. Stories of wizards who did not feel cold, commanding animals, and manipulating the elements such as fire were largely negative however speckled throughout the research were wizards who were great warriors, shepherds of the people, and in some cases just normal citizens living their lives like everyone else

Though you were slowly and steadily finding out more information about your powers and relished the time you were so easily given you couldn’t help but wish for Sirius’ company more often than an hour or two at night. Luckily for you, that was about to change.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” You were sat on the floor in front of the fireplace staring gloomily at your fifth cup of tea.

You smiled “Sirius I'm so grateful for you letting me stay but I was wondering - do you have anything other than tea?”

He smirked and left the room returning seconds later with a bottle of fire whiskey. 

Handing you a large glass he clinked it with his and took his place back on the couch asking you again how was your day. Each night Sirius had helped you with your findings, giving his opinion or helping you to digest what you had read. He was adamant that your powers weren’t evil and that you needed to be confident in your choice to do what was right. He had served to make you feel good about yourself a lot but you wondered if he had the same support from his pairs. Tonight you put aside your research and decided to question him about his life. You had gleaned a bit about him over the last month but he was infinitely fascinating to you and seemed like a well of untapped ideas and beliefs.

He talked about his family, his friends, and the Order. He told you light hearted tales about his Hogwarts days and he talked at length about Harry and how sometimes he was nervous about his parenting role considering Walburga and Orion were such poor examples to go off.

“You know, you are not what I thought.” You said boldly after a moment of silence.   


Sirius sat up straighter on the couch and cocked his eyebrow at you. A side smile not quite covering a flicker of worry in his eyes.

“Oh?” Was all he said.   
  
“Yeah.” You walked forwards from your current position in front of the mantle place and took a seat beside him. 

“You care more about what people think than you let on.”

“Is that so?” He subconsciously moved his body so it was angled towards you.

“Yeah, and you are not as much of a dog around the ladies as I thought you’d be.”   
  
Sirius barked out a laugh at this. “Why thank you Y/N, but to be fair you have never seen me around ‘the ladies.’”

“I’ve seen you around me.” You answered bluntly. “You aren’t all over me with cheap pick up lines and cocky bravado.”

Sirius turned his head away and tried to hold in a laugh.  _ Where was this coming from? _ He wondered.

“Is that how you think I would woo a woman? I’m slightly offended, Y/N.” He didn’t look it. He looked amused and a little interested.

He wasn’t able to tell if you were joking and as you glimmered at him, taking another sip of your drink.

“I don’t sleep around you know. I haven’t done that since I was 20, but unfortunately, that reputation has always preceded me.”

“You probably deserved it!” 

He scoffed, turning back to stare at the fire; “Probably, and don’t get me wrong I still like meeting new people but I have long since learned sex is far better with someone you have a connection with.”

“Ok then.” You said brightly, gaining his attention again. “What would you do?” 

“What would I do, when?” Sirius narrowed his eyebrows slightly, confused.

“When you want to “woo” a woman.”  You signaled quotation marks in the air as you said the word ‘woo’ earning another quick chuckle from him.

Sirius paused, looking at you intently, cogs working fast in his brain.    
_ She wants you to woo her?  _ _   
_ _ No, she wants you to show her what you would do to woo her.  _ _   
_ _ Does that mean she wants me? _

As Sirius battled these rapid thoughts, your own inner monologue was pipping up as well:  
_ This is a dangerous game, Y/N.  _ _   
_ _ You are leading him on and you know it.   
_ _ It’s too dangerous, you can’t do anything with him. _ _   
_ _ Don’t confuse the poor guy...unless you want to be leading him on.  _ _   
_ _ Do you? _

Shaking your head and forcing yourself to believe this would just be a fun game you crossed your legs leaning closer to Sirius.

He noticed glancing at your legs, smooth skin exposed up to past mid-thigh where your skirt took over covering the rest from there.

He looked back into your eyes and noticed a difference. Your pupils were bigger and there was a faint purple hue in your irises.

Right now, the sexual tension in the room could be cut with a knife. It had been building over the past few weeks. An accidental touch here and there, a smile, or a look that meant everything and nothing at the same time from him would floor you. When he looked over your shoulder to consider whatever book you were showing him, little puffs of his breath in your ear flooded your body with heat making it impossible to concentrate. All these reactions confused you and created a chronic longing feeling in your chest you had not experienced before. It made you feel warm, content, and giddy. 

Never having fallen for anyone before, you didn’t recognise the signs, the changes in your body and the effect he had on you mentally and physically. By the time these feelings had reached boiling point he was sitting next to you and your body was doing the thinking for you. God you wanted him to touch you. To an untrained eye Sirius looked so cool and collected, however beneath the surface he was anything but.

Since Remus had confronted him about asking you out, Sirius had thought little else. He was super aware of his body language, how it angled him towards you, begging him to take a step closer even if just to place his hand on your back as he passed. Believing that you didn’t want that from him, he was careful not to brush past you or stand too close and cause you to feel uncomfortable. He constantly watched himself and made sure he didn’t give you the wrong idea. It was hard though. Very hard.

Just yesterday he nearly pinned you against the wall and kissed you. He was walking you out and after a long night of research, you were tired and not watching where you were going. Just as he was saying “watch out for the…” you kicked over that bloody troll leg again. Instead of steading yourself, your first thought was not to wake up Sirius’ Mother’s portrait so you reached back to catch the falling article before its clatter made a sound. Overreaching, you fell backward into something hard and warm: Sirius’ chest. He instantly wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight and upright. 

“Are you ok?” he whispered in your ear, his puffs of breath once again making your veins tingle.

You swallowed and exited abruptly leaving Sirius cursing himself for what he thought was his incongruous behaviour. As far as you were concerned, it had been anything but and you were unable to stop thinking of him for the rest of the evening, dreaming of those same arms doing other far more inappropriate things making your sleep wrought with pleasurable shivers and fever.  _ Oh god was he ever going to come closer? _

Until this evening he had been the perfect gentleman, respecting your boundaries and staying just out of reach. Apart from the one incident in the hallway, you hadn’t felt his touch, no matter how innocent, since he had carried you up the stairs to bed and that was having an unacceptable effect on you. It made you lean towards him further, lick your lips whenever he was near, and glance at his body when he wasn’t looking in a completely wanton way.  _ He must notice the heat coming from me?  _ You thought. He seemed so relaxed, not at all perturbed by your presence.

How wrong you were. Inside, Sirius was struggling. He was trying to be a gentleman but it was hard, you were making it hard.  _ Do you actually want him? _ He was ok with just being in your orbit slowly torturing himself at not touching you, content at just being there but this evening, your flirting coupled with the fire whiskey was not helping, in fact, its lubricating effects ware making resisting anything you said that could be slightly construed as even vague interest, very, very difficult. 

Sirius cleared his throat. Not taking his eyes off you. “You want me to show you how I ask a woman out?”

“Yes, show me your moves!”

Sirius smiled but his eyes held a serious, almost pained look. Before you could ask him what was wrong he shuffled in his seat.

“Y/N, I don’t have moves I just sort of feel a situation out, see if she likes me and then go from there.”

“Ok well show me how you do that. Come on.” You egged him as he gave you a look of doubt. “It’ll be fun.” _ It’ll be torture. _ Sirius thought, but you were looking at him with such a blazing warmth in your eyes, he relented and shifted so he was closer to you.

“Well, if I like her I have usually gotten to know her a little bit, watched the way she moves, adjusted my body language to suit whatever she is comfortable with, and look for signs she is interested in me too.”

He stretched so his right arm was running along the back of the couch, behind you, touching your shoulder ever so lightly. You shivered at the contact. 

“Then I guess I would let her take the lead.” His voice had lowered and you noticed he had leaned closer to you. You had also noticed that the outside of his right leg was pressed against your crossed calves and as he leaned to you further you got a whiff of his cologne. The musky, manly scent combined with his closeness dilated your pupils further and sent your mind whirling.

Before you could collect yourself Sirius gave you a slow, mischievous smile, took a sip of his drink and said very quietly; “Your turn.”

“My...w-what?” you uttered, stammering slightly.

“Your turn to show me your moves.”

Fuck you wanted him.  _ Could you? No? _ Slowly, not realising it you inched closer to him. 

You were nervous, Sirius could finally see that. Whatever he was doing had an effect on you. Sirius loved the excitement of turning someone else on, this was him in his element. However, unlike most interactions with the opposite sex, this one was equally thrilling and torturing him. Gathering a sliver of confidence he tentatively he placed his left hand on your thigh. You sucked in a sharp breath which he mistook for fear immediately whipping his hand away and opening his mouth to apologise only to be interrupted by the words: “Don’t stop.”

He looked back at you, having just enough time to register your meaning before you lunged forward, capturing his lips in yours. 

There was a seconds pause then Sirius was returning your kiss with fervor. He wrapped his arms around your back clinging to your shirt before lifting you up and onto his lap, legs either side of his, pressing into him exquisitely. 

He tasted like fire whiskey and something sweet at the same time.

He moved his hand through your hair holding your head while the other held your lower back pressing you firmly, further into him. Suddenly the hand holding your head was gone and running up your outer thigh, underneath your skirt. 

His warm fingers caressed your upper thigh, moving further to touch the tip of your hip and run tantalizing circles across your backside.

His kisses were feverish and sending you reeling. The way he swept his tongue across your lips opening them and deepening the kiss was tantalizing. Clinging to him, grabbing fistfuls of his hair, you ground down into his crotch and he groaned, opening his eyes. They were heavy with desire.

Sirius squeezed your bum picking you up and lay you back down on the couch. He didn’t remove his lips from yours as he wrapped your legs around his waist and lowered his body onto yours.

You arched up into him and he was immediately transported to the first dream he had of you, lying naked on his bed. He let out a shuddered breath; “You are so beautiful, Y/N.  I want you .”

Instead of being flattered by this, a voice popped up in the back of your mind;  _ Did he though?  _ Shaken by this sudden thought, then jumping slightly at the bang of the front door signifying the probable return home of Remus served to knock you back into reality. The situation suddenly became very clear to you. You had just thrown yourself at a man who was known for sleeping with multiple women, very easily it seemed if you were to believe what he said before - he didn’t have to do anything and they offered themselves to him.

Of course he wanted you - you had led him on which your ‘game’ basically given yourself up to him on a platter. This wasn’t real, it was convenient and you could seriously hurt him if you let him in further.

Seeing the change in your face, Sirius sat up, “Y/N, are you ok? Was this too fast?.”

“Sirius...I” you were so embarrassed. Sitting up, quickly removing your legs from around him. 

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have.” He could see the blush rising up around your cheeks and you couldn’t look at him.

“Shouldn’t have? What do you mean - I think this was on both of us. Don’t you?”

“I mean.” You screwed your eyes shut, breathing deeply, “I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea...I… I don’t do one nightstands.” 

“One nightstands?” he was frowning at you, confused, his mind racing.  _ Didn’t she hear me before? _

Seeing him frown and mistaking it for annoyance rather than confusion you stood up and started to back towards the door. “I should go, I’m so sorry for coming on to you.”

“Y/N! Wait!” But before he could take two steps towards you, you had turned on your heel and raced out the door.

“Y/N!” Sirius was still calling your name as you shot out the front door, turning on the spot to disapparate. 

\----

“Argh, Y/N how could you be so stupid!” You cursed yourself as you walked around your kitchen.

That had been the hottest, most erotic thing that had happened to you and you choaked, freaked out, and left

You wanted Sirius it was true but you couldn’t quite believe someone like him could want you for anything more than a one time fling. No one else had wanted more so what made him any different?

Plus even if he did there was a real chance you could lose it and hurt him. The feelings he elicited from you were unreal and you had never felt that alive and heated before. It both thrilled and frightened you to your bones.

Though the research you conducted in his library had opened up ideas that you hadn’t had before - you were still afraid. Sirius had quickly and unquestionably become your favourite person and you didn’t think your poor heart could take having him in the most intimate way and then not having him again. So you had done the most adult thing you could think of: insulted his intentions and run away. “Brilliant!” You spat.

Sirius was pacing up and down the hall. “YOU IDIOT!” He yelled at himself waking up his mother. “Oh shut the fuck up you old hag!” Storming out of the house, and out into the night air helped calm him and give him clarit y.  He disapparated instantly.

Lifting your head from your hands you got up from the kitchen table as you heard a soft knock at your front door.

Sirius stood at your door with a dark, devastating look.

“Sirius I…” you began.

“I want you more than just for tonight.” He blurted out. “I have for a long time” 

  
“What if I hurt you.” He walked in, eyes dark and grabbed you, “You won’t.”

He let you go and stood before yo, waiting. He wanted you to be sure of him and sure of yourself. His broad shoulders quivered under your stare, not with fear but ready to do anything you desired. Sirius was a handsome man, sure, but standing before you laying his cards on the line, his need for you so obvious and open made him the most beautiful thing you had ever seen. He was not afraid of anything. His confidence fanned yours and you ignored the fear building in your stomach and stepped into him. 

Attaching himself to your lips once more he didn’t look as he closed the front door and led you towards your staircase.

Laying you down on your bed once again he hovered above you, one muscled arm on either side of your head. This view of you sprawled out underneath him jogged his memory and as he recalled first dream about you again. He closed his eyes and shuddered.

“What’s wrong Sirius?”

Your concern was squashed by a sly smile. He opened his eyes and said with a smirk: “I’ve dreamt about this before”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.” He looked at you intently.

“What did dream me do?”

You couldn’t quite hold your smug smile while Sirius bit his lip and told you.

Wrapping your legs around him once more, you pulled him down on top of you. Hands running down his sides as you kissed him, you felt his muscles tense at each spot you touched. Whatever you were doing to him, he enjoyed it.

Taking great effort to wrench his lips from yours Sirius looked at you once more and asked: “Y/N, would you like to go to dinner with me sometime?”

Looking surprised, you nodded. He smiled. “I meant what I said. This isn’t just a once off. Not for me.”

“I know.” You conceded. “I also just didn’t want my first time to be meaningless.”   
  
“Your first time?” Sirius looked shocked. “You mean you’ve never…?”

You shook your head, grimacing slightly hoping this didn’t change anything.

“Oh Y/N, are you sure?” Sirius was surprised and, if possible, turned on even more. There was something so special about sharing someone’s first experience. Meaning something so much to them that they wanted to be with you. He felt sexy, powerful, and potent which combined with how long he had lusted over you and the way you moved, made it incredibly hard for him to focus.

“Yes Sirius.” The brazen look in your eyes and the way you ran your hands in sweeping strokes around his body told him that though you may not have had sex you had had other intimate experiences and you knew what you wanted.

He shuddered once more, closing his eyes as you arched up into him again. 

“Y/N.” His voice came out in a rasp. “God, you are turning me on... I want you so badly but if this is not right for you please tell me and we’ll stop.”

You surprised him by laughing softly. “You’re sort of killing the mood, Sirius. I want this, I want you - you know you are not the only one who has touched themselves dreaming about us.”

Suddenly, with a twirl of your fingers, soft, malleable ropes appeared at your wrists. Gently lifting your arms up and firmly tying your hands to your bedpost.

Sirius’ jaw dropped and he almost started drooling. The look on his face, one of absolute adoration, spurred you on further. Another flick of your wrist and your clothes slowly started peeling themselves off your body, ripping in parts to remove themselves from you until you were lying naked, stretched underneath him, replicating his most that particular dream perfectly.

As you looked up at him through relaxed eyelids and purred; “I want you to touch me, Sirius.” He nearly came undone.

Though he was only wearing his jeans and a shirt he couldn’t get naked fast enough.

Sirius laid his body against yours, groaning at the feel of your soft skin. He kissed you deeply, letting one arm hold himself while the other dipped low, wandering further until it came torturously close to your clit before moving passed and circling your inner thigh.

You groaned with frustration and he smiled into your lips as he kissed you, tongue sweeping inside your mouth lighting sparks inside your head.

Each time he neared closer to your core, your breath hitched, waiting, only to be expelled in frustration as he moved passed and to another area. 

He explored your mouth, your neck, your collar bone, and your nipples with his mouth, all the while coming close to touching you were you needed but not getting close enough.

Finally, he swept his finger up the line of your folds and flicked your clit. A move that literally took your breath away and his. He could feel how wet you were and it made his cock twitch with excitement. “Oh, Y/N.”

His teasing had become torturous for him as well. If he wasn’t careful, your body was going to turn him on so much that he might come on you rather than inside you like he desperately wanted.

He moved down to flick your nipple with his tongue then continued further south until his head was level with your core. A brush of stubble on your inner thigh had you jolting. He kissed the spot, sparking your lust even more. Not able to take any more teasing, “please Sirius” you begged. The desperate timbre of your voice made him feel incredibly desired.

He gently made taught the skin above your clit tilting it upwards and licking it, so lightly but giving you the feeling of being shocked with the most incredible surge of power. A whimper and a groan encouraged him to carry on and soon he was holding your bucking hips down as he continued to rapidly lick, and flick the sensitive bead. You could feel a sudden blooming inside you, growing outwards, and upwards lighting even your soul on fire. Suddenly afraid your weird powers might cause you to lash out and hurt him you made to move away but he held you down and stopped his tongue briefly enough to growl, “you won’t, just let go.”

He shifted his free hand under your bum and squeezed as he buried his face once more in your core. There it was again, that sweet hot feeling running through your bones. A warm glow washed over you and into him _ \-  _ consumed him filling him with love. You could feel his devotion to you, how turned on he was, how much he longed for you. This had never happened before and before you could process it the orgasm he gave you lifted you off the bed causing you to cry out his name over and over. He did not relent, it was exquisite ecstasy.

“Oh God, oh God…” you breathed, hyperventilating from how good he had made you feel. Sirius was smiling, he had made his way back up the bed and was lying next to you, stroking your side.

You wrenched your arms out of the ropes and launched at him, taking him off guard and kissing him deeply, pushing yourself on top of him until you were straddling his lap just like you had only moments ago in his library.

Sirius’ cocky smile turned into an ‘oh’ as his mouth opened while you grabbed his erection and placed it at your entrance. Wetting the tip from your already dripping core you slowly began to slide down.

Sirius, groaned, bit his lip and grasped your hips. He was utterly and irrevocably under your spell.

Feeling a stretch, painful at first, you continued to slide down until a snapping feeling followed by a slight relief brought you to the bottom of his shaft.

Taking your breath you slowly started to move up and down his cock, squeezing intermittently and kissing him sporadically.

The frenzy he had whipped you into before had served to lubricate your entrance so though there was some pain at first, it soon gave way to a delightfully filling feeling.

“Ohhh Y/N” Sirius groaned as your inner walls stroked his shaft. You were tight, as he expected but your smooth movements and rocking of your hips blew him away. If this was you at your first time then he was in for a real treat when you had more experience under your belt. Thoughts of you experimenting with others flashed across his mind and he growled. Territorial hormones took him over as he squeezed your hips hard lifting his own up into you, hitting a spot inside you that caused you to moan.

Sirius noticed this and increased the snapping of his hips. Continuous thrusts meeting each other coupled with your already sensitive clit rubbing against the rough hair on his pelvis was causing an orgasm to build again. Surely not? Not at your first instance of sex, you thought?

A delightful wave tickled your walls and you shivered. “Sirius, I’m going to come. Don’t stop.”

He didn’t, reaching down between you he rubbed your clit once more to bring your orgasm about faster. Feeling your walls clamp down around him his thrusts became sloppier and as you came, unraveling on top of him he found his release crying your name and squeezing your hips painfully. 

You fell forward on top of him and he instantly wrapped his arms around you rolling you to the side, still inside of you showing no signs he wanted to get up.

Laying there entwined with him you felt the content warm feeling ripple through you again. You had let go and not lost control! If you could do this then you could do anything. No more holding back. In one act of love Sirius had helped you break the shackles of fear and find relief from a lifetime of pressure and concern. You felt light and confident. Chuckling to yourself he looked at you cocking an eyebrow in question.

“Well Sirius, those were some good moves!” 

There was a beat and then you both laughed.   
  


  
  
  



End file.
